WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN STEALING MONEY

If this guy was twice as stupid as he thinks everyone else is, then he would be only half as stupid as he really is..

Last week, Ilan Kupperman-Segal, the driver of an armoured van carrying 4.7 million shekels (over $1 million), drove off with the money. The vehicle was subsequently found sans the cash. It was also discovered that Kupperman-Segal had a criminal record, and had used fake ID to get the job with the security company.

Today, Kupperman-Segal turned himself into police, after evading police for the past few days. According to his version of events:
- He stole the van to protest the conditions under which he had to work, including no air conditioning.
- He wasn't hiding from police, but rather waited until today to turn himself in because his lawyer was on holiday until today.
- He had only used the fake ID to hide his criminal record.
- He did not steal any of the money but rather left all of it in the vehicle, which he locked and then abandoned.

Problem is, the money is missing. And when police found the van, it was locked with the engine running, suggesting that Kupperman-Segal had made a second set of keys.

Congratulation, Ilan, you are this blog's first Idiot of the week!